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  • Writer's pictureBro. Caleb Taft

Knowing our King | Colossians 3:19 | Love your Wives

Colossians 3:19

Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.


God now speaks to the head of the Home. Head is more than a title; it is an office. What is more important, the placard on the door or the work? Of course, It matters very little what the door reads, what makes a difference is the work that takes place behind that door. So it is with the title of head of the home, if all you have is that title but you’re not doing the work of the head then you are a hypocrite. Don’t expect to be treated like the head and be given due respect for the head when you are fulfilling the role of the rear end.


Then what is the duty of this office we fill? Love is the chief purpose of this office. Secondly leadership, the head must make the decisions, or else everything gets out of order. This Leadership should be subservient to the Love that we have for our families. What I mean is we should lead, not because we must be the big man on campus but because it is our duty and God’s ordained method. Therefore, a departure from us taking the lead is a departure from God’s design. The weight of leadership in the home was tailor-made for the man’s shoulders and no one else’s.

Ephesians 5:25 says something very similar, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” This verse proves that this is a sacrificial role that we are called to play. That is quite contrary to the mindset of many men. Perhaps this is the root of bitterness in some of our hearts. When we count the cost of our sacrifice instead of the joy of it. Christ, our supreme example, found himself in this same situation, Having to sacrifice for his bride, but notice his outlook on this sacrifice in Heb 12:2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross. Jesus’s sacrifice for his bride was not pleasant but he considered the end of this sacrifice and endured for the joy. What a tremendous lesson to us husbands, not to let the sacrificial role of Head imbitter us. Don’t count what it has cost you, count the joy it has brought you! Christ never Sat down and counted the pain and misery and rejection and said it was too much or did what he did on the cross out of obligation and he has never thrown this sacrifice in our faces, he did it from a heart of Love and without bitterness or hurtful words ‘No guile found in his mouth.” Yes, being the man has cost us long hours of sweat, blood, and tears. Some brave the elements, while others are under tremendous pressure from their jobs or their own selves. While the cost has been high, the dividends have been greater. There is no amount of physical, mental, or spiritual sacrifice that has ever outweighed the joy of leading my home in love. Watching my children and wife be cared for and learning to trust the Lord, as I have had to as well. Dear husbands, be not bitter against them.


Adam loved his wife supremely and at his reception of her he said some of the most famous words in History in Genesis 2:23-24 “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” So close was their relationship that they were considered one body. That is until Adam forsook his role of Head, letting her lead him and by doing so He led the whole family into sin, and bitterness. Men Love your wife, take the Lead and be not bitter against them.

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